Today we received some news. There is a family (lots of you know, I'm sure) that just got back with their kids a few months ago. They called Ira to see why she changed her mind and to tell her of their experiences. What it boils down to is that she doesn't want to leave her friends. Things are going well for her now and when told what's going to happen when she turns 16 she said she didn't care about that right now. Basically, she's 12 years old and can't see far enough ahead to understand what is really going to happen to her. She also has a family there in the town that takes her out and does fun things with her every so often. No, they've never mentioned anything about adopting her. She does like us and enjoyed her time here.
The good thing is that at the beginning of the conversation she was still, "No, I don't want to be adopted." By the end, however, she said yes she does, but no she doesn't. To me at least this isn't a, "No way" kind of a thing and there is a chance she'll change her mind.
Our plan of action right now is to call her often and send her pictures of the things we're doing together. Not to mention, keep praying. Hopefully things will go even a little better when that package arrives. It should be there sometime this next week.
Erg, that is a tough one! I remember being that young and not being able to imagine the future beyond the next week's homework assignment. Good luck with all that.
ReplyDeleteSheesh. This sounds so much like our Danny. Only he doesn't have anyone taking him out for fun times. Instead he has a deadbeat mom that didn't care enough about her kids to feed them, clothe them, send them to school, protect them or make sure they had shelter. Then she just didn't show up for court when her rights were being taken. And now she shows up on Christmas and maybe a birthday, and only taking the older one, not the younger one, for a loving parent visit. It's so true that at thirteen (twelve in your case) they can't see past the next day let alone the next few years. It's obvious to everyone on the outside looking in. Not even teenagers in the US, raised in good families can always recognize the obvious. It's so hard for us to know their potential and see how amazing they are, to know the person that is stuck inside this small child in Ukraine without hope or opportunity. We love them and want to offer them so much more. We want them to succeed, be happy, be loved, be safe. And they don't understand that because they've never had it. They can't even begin to fathom this new life. It's got to be a lot like how Heavenly Father feels. He wants so much for us. He sees our potential, he knows we are amazing. He loves us and wants us to succeed, yet many times we make poor decisions due to the fact that we can't see the big picture and can only see tomorrow. It has really given me a renewed appreciation of this perspective and is healing to my heart to know that He really does know exactly how I feel. Prayers are with you and Ira.
ReplyDeleteone more thought: I also think these kids have trained themselves, out of necessity to be somewhat emotionless. They quickly forget about the good things and good times as part of the survival mode they live in each day. I know that when I do something fun that I haven't been able to do for a while or go somewhere I haven't been for some time, I remember that it was fun and good but until I get there, I don't really remember how good or fun. It's kind of like an "oh yeah! Now I remember..." moment. I'm sure it's only magnified for them. I really think that praying for them to remember the feelings they had while they were here will help, along with letters, pictures, phone calls, etc. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if one of the other girls that was adopted at that age would be willing to bring a letter with you for her to read about their experience. This way she can know what others like her have gone through. Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteJeni - LOL No kidding.
ReplyDeleteSteph - I completely agree. I've been praying that she'll have the desire to be adopted and the courage to go through with it. I'll start praying for her to remember how she felt while she was here too. :^)
Andreas - Good idea. I don't know any though. And since I don't know any, whoever writes to her wouldn't know her either (and therefore she wouldn't know them.) Would that matter?